safe to say, I hate you

I hate you more than usual today. I dreamed of you again last night… of your absence. You were out and I was just trying to sleep- all your other lovers kept moving around, getting out of bed, packing, moving out, moving in, unpacking, getting into bed. I next tried conversation but all the places I named were long since closed or no longer relevant. I got on my bike and rode home in the dark, in the rain. The cold air made my throat hurt so I woke up, closed the window, adjusted the blanket and did it all over again…