I am extremely anxious. Often I sit at home and worry about things that have nothing to do with my reality...
I enjoy pondering alternatives and possibilities--
I really live in a fantasy world of numbness, resulting from years of drug use. I enter this world when I try to read or focus on work or just when I'm sitting on the train.
My world has no charms, characteristics or characters or charisma. No features really- it only exists as the space between spaces and moments, fragments of self-induced sensory deprivation.
Sometimes I sit in front of the tv and hold the channel button down just to hear the sound the speakers make between stations for hours at a time.
To give my eyes a rest when looking at computer screens so long I stare between the pixels and focus on new jersey. sure there are solid objects between here and there but that doesn't stop me.
