So I saw another place last night.. called turtle to come and help me out, because (of course) I felt like I was in over my head.. geez- I get overwhelmed just asking for the salt shaker at dinner sometimes! If I like the place I start getting nervous, picturing myself wandering around the neighborhood looking for mailboxes and laundromats. bleah. I must admit I was immediately taken by the patter of the agent and the shine of the wood floor. I am getting better at this but it's taking too long, and I fear I will wind up in a shanty...
So T is an interior decorator, and the extra help is always appreciated- it feels a little like there's an episode of 'this old queer eye for the straight house' constantly going on in the background. Bob Vila in a tutu. You get the picture. She asks the agent a simple, if slightly intrusive question-
I noticed that there are a lot of little details that are unfinished and I wonder what the landlord or super's position will be when something really needs attention?
a little context, perhaps-- She was talking about the where the floor met the walls on the north and south sides of this huge wood-floor studio; the kitchen was a dump with a new sink, and the bathroom was slightly worse. There was this tiny staircase which led directly to a 3x3'room, and opposite it was an extremely small closet space. the floors of the stairs themselves, and this area (not to mention the closet under the stairs) were pretty crappy.
So it was a not-so-great pad with one room that had been renovated nicely, and she asked the agent about it. This lady must be damaged, because she responded with a tirade about how she wasn't making any money because she was doing a friend a favor, she had to be 10 miles away to show a 1.25 million dollar house in midwood half an hour ago (she didn't- she had said earlier that she wasn't going, that the buyer was going to look at it alone) and so on. No question answered. I guess that answered a couple questions, like "Should I support this real estate co" and most importantly "am I going to live here".
"I don't know" is okay to say. it really is. Why can't people understand that? "I'll get back to you." Whoever said that speaking isn't communicating was damned right when they communicated it.
So I went back to T's and we munched a little korma (YUM) and giggled the eve away looking for more places online and convincing VHC23 to get his ass in gear and scribble down the better parts of his continuous fiery invective.
It's comin, it's comin.. I think I can I think I can...
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
unbelieve!
Turtle and I went to see a place last night.. if it was 200 sq feet then that measurement included one of the walls. I should really ask for cubic feet from now on. there would have been enough room for a full bed, 2x2 table with two chairs, a dresser and a small desk. forget stretching on the floor with all that in there. and in this tiny little space there were... 27 electrical outlets. unbelieve! (oh why didn't I take pictures?) wtf? what do I need to use this place for, growing pot? I could have done that across the street in the cemetary.. nobody would have bothered it there!
so the price was okay but the place was too small of course and just too far away. I'm sorry but I want to be able to get to work in under 45 minutes. I just don't have that much focus at a stretch to read, and I know I'd fall asleep and miss my stop all the time. And who wants to live next to a graveyard? I'm not one of those vampire and magic fr-uh, fans who get all into it. fantasy is cool and escapism is well deserved for any sentient creature stuck here-- but overboard is overboard, you know?
SO, I'm still looking at apartments... but contrary to my desire to kill I took the night off. I'm just tired I needed to sit and flip through hotornot for ten minutes, pile up the newly dirty laundry with the incipient, chat with my x, have a complete nuclear meltdown and piss off the cat.. this quest is so frustrating. but I got some good advice from my boss today: grill 'em and be relentless. have a laundry list of specs, don't let em waste your time. they can't help you? someone else will. he also suggestied the VV, which I've been avoiding this time around for some reason... I guess I have such a giant place on the mantel for CL it's been crowding everything else out... got my last place there, this job, sold stuff, bought stuff... so.. CL has been microcosmically good. I understand my hesitation- it's the only BB that's ever produced anything! except ladies. ladies fall out of the sky. and let me tell you, they can really wreck a nice umbrella.
had to buy a new copy of 'peace to end all peace' to replace the one I borrowed and subsequently ruined in the rain.. I really should find a water resistant bag, or staple garbage bags to the inside of my shit...or keep that shit in bags.. duh. that would work better, I think- no staples, bag stays whole... okay, that's what I'm doing. plastic bags.I can hang- look, look! see me hangin?
so, plan for tomorrow- pb & j, or use that subway card that's burnin a hole in my wallet? garbage bags inside the shoes and an extra three pairs of socks. Sanka for breakfast? you know it.
so the price was okay but the place was too small of course and just too far away. I'm sorry but I want to be able to get to work in under 45 minutes. I just don't have that much focus at a stretch to read, and I know I'd fall asleep and miss my stop all the time. And who wants to live next to a graveyard? I'm not one of those vampire and magic fr-uh, fans who get all into it. fantasy is cool and escapism is well deserved for any sentient creature stuck here-- but overboard is overboard, you know?
SO, I'm still looking at apartments... but contrary to my desire to kill I took the night off. I'm just tired I needed to sit and flip through hotornot for ten minutes, pile up the newly dirty laundry with the incipient, chat with my x, have a complete nuclear meltdown and piss off the cat.. this quest is so frustrating. but I got some good advice from my boss today: grill 'em and be relentless. have a laundry list of specs, don't let em waste your time. they can't help you? someone else will. he also suggestied the VV, which I've been avoiding this time around for some reason... I guess I have such a giant place on the mantel for CL it's been crowding everything else out... got my last place there, this job, sold stuff, bought stuff... so.. CL has been microcosmically good. I understand my hesitation- it's the only BB that's ever produced anything! except ladies. ladies fall out of the sky. and let me tell you, they can really wreck a nice umbrella.
had to buy a new copy of 'peace to end all peace' to replace the one I borrowed and subsequently ruined in the rain.. I really should find a water resistant bag, or staple garbage bags to the inside of my shit...or keep that shit in bags.. duh. that would work better, I think- no staples, bag stays whole... okay, that's what I'm doing. plastic bags.I can hang- look, look! see me hangin?
so, plan for tomorrow- pb & j, or use that subway card that's burnin a hole in my wallet? garbage bags inside the shoes and an extra three pairs of socks. Sanka for breakfast? you know it.
Coney Island Park
Warning:
contained herein are instructions for viewing the most disgusting image available on the internet without a filter.
CONSIDER YOURSELF FOREWARNED. IF YOU ARE EASILY OR NOT-SO-EASILY OFFENDED THEN DO NOT READ THIS POST AND DO NOT FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS.
Go to Google: Images
enter:
aerial nyc
(no quotes)
browse down.. it should be on the second or third page. Don't worry, it is extremely disgusting, you will see it.
contained herein are instructions for viewing the most disgusting image available on the internet without a filter.
CONSIDER YOURSELF FOREWARNED. IF YOU ARE EASILY OR NOT-SO-EASILY OFFENDED THEN DO NOT READ THIS POST AND DO NOT FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS.
Go to Google: Images
enter:
aerial nyc
(no quotes)
browse down.. it should be on the second or third page. Don't worry, it is extremely disgusting, you will see it.
Monday, January 10, 2005
grrreeeater than...
Have you ever left something on the stove and forgotten it? that's like the fifth time.. the second time I was just deglazing a pan. I'd better be sure I buy a smoke alarm before moving or I will literally accidentally kill myself. I'm always so ticked off when it happens too- the horrible, horrible noise gets going and I can't tell if it's the start of something burning or just the blackened food particles smouldering in a near-ruined pot. I'm sure I'd be madder if the place was on fire and my life were in danger- but until then I'll just browbeat until the cows come home.
If I ever changed my name it would just be my last name...
I don't know why I would ever do that but I would change it to Ometer.
Maybe it would catch on...
Dave Ometer
Kara Ometer
Barbr Ometer
Danforth Ometer
Joy Ometer
Danzig Ometer
Paige Ometer
Shaquille O'Meter
If I ever changed my name it would just be my last name...
I don't know why I would ever do that but I would change it to Ometer.
Maybe it would catch on...
Dave Ometer
Kara Ometer
Barbr Ometer
Danforth Ometer
Joy Ometer
Danzig Ometer
Paige Ometer
Shaquille O'Meter
Sunday, January 09, 2005
hummmminnnn onnn the cofffeeee....
Loooove the thermos.
I am diggin the 16oz nissan coffee thermos. It's 2pm and I put my coffee in there at about 8:30- still hot enough to be enjoyable. If there wasn't a micro at work I'd still be using the Quart Trudeau Bullet for lunch like I did at school for how freaking long? Five years? Lovin it.
I am diggin the 16oz nissan coffee thermos. It's 2pm and I put my coffee in there at about 8:30- still hot enough to be enjoyable. If there wasn't a micro at work I'd still be using the Quart Trudeau Bullet for lunch like I did at school for how freaking long? Five years? Lovin it.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
The Retarded Joe Pesci
I can't believe my luck- I am meeting the wildest characters in this apartment hunt!
I met this one dude who was just like Verbal Kint from The Usual Suspects- not too bright, ugly, misshapen... He met me in the street, in 20° weather, and wanted me to fill out paperwork standing on the street before he showed me where the building was! I guess they're so afraid of losing properties to their clients they need to be a little overprotective, but come on! In the cold? I was wrapped up like a Michelin Man and I was not pulling off my gloves outdoors- not for one moment. So he shows me the place. Nice building- it had the old 'board of education' brass doorknobs, marble floors, and although it's geometrically what I'm looking for, the soft touches rule it out- the crappy windows, the closet moist with cat waste (why would someone ruin a perfectly good closet like that) and the neighbors were noisy. Otherwise it was perfect. So I told Verbal 'no thanks' and had to fill out the paperwork anyway - just in case I was lying about not wanting the place so I could get it without his fee - and split.
have I mentioned that I hate real estate brokers?
My experience with no-fee brokers has been all right so I've been trying to see those appointments exclusively, but that involves a lot of legwork, since there are no (as in absolute zero aintno) good brokers who only deal with no-fee properties. If their properties don't stink, they do. So what ends up happening is you get stuck dealing with brokers and their fees.
argh.
So I'm at gnu's place and I talk to some dude who's like,
why don't you walk a mile from where you are and I'll pick you up on the street in my car?
I ask why he can't just drive and pick us up, and he says no, he's too busy to drive 2 miles, it would really be much better if we met him on the street. So we walk the mile. Probably shouldn't have but I'm glad we did. We get into his car and he hands me a clipboard- so I say, Hey- nice office! and he doesn't get it. but then I see he's distracting me from the horrible neighborhood with paperwork.
And this guy is like a retarded Joe Pesci. He's got the overly obnoxious "italian" affectation, the white caddy, the ugly suit, open shirt, gold chain, the hair- and he talks like Pesci too- except.. well... do your best Joe Pesci impersonation, but purposely leave your tounge sticking out of your mouth.. that's the best description I could come up with, because when I do that, it sounds just like him. If for some reason you can't do it, ask me to do the retarded Joe Pesci impression. I don't think I'll ever tire of it.
I ask him what he considers this neighborhood, and he says swarthily that it doesn't matter what he considers it, what matters is what I consider it.
I said I just wanted his perspective, but in retrospect I consider it Deadman's Slope- half a block down a very steep hill from a cemetery and around the corner from a highway. lots of trash, abandoned buildings, no major development (or redevelopment) anywhere nearby. The building is pretty run down on the outside, the metal steps are rusted through- we go down a hall, turn right and left, and then we are facing a staircase that is probably at a 60 degree angle. very very steep, and narrow, too- I don't know how they got the stove up through that hallway.
The apartment itself is not terrible- but here's what I noticed immediately-
no bathroom sink, standing shower stall, the toilet in its own little hallway- the kitchen floor was made of overlaid 4x8' sheets of masonite.. like someone just haphazardly dropped them there, a giant deck of playing cards.
Don't get me wrong- the apartment was quite large, about 450 square feet, windows on the front and the back of the building, nice fixtures, two outlets in every room, and besides the kitchen and bathroom, some really nice wood floors, but the neighborhood, and the building itself were what is sometimes confused for Shynola.
It seems I finally have some criteria to work with, which is good-
1. apartment interior ok?
2. building ok?
3. neighborhood ok?
Of course these can be subdivided further as to what constitutes "ok", but at this point I'm willing to get 2 out of 3 here, folks.
suggestions noted and appreciated.
I met this one dude who was just like Verbal Kint from The Usual Suspects- not too bright, ugly, misshapen... He met me in the street, in 20° weather, and wanted me to fill out paperwork standing on the street before he showed me where the building was! I guess they're so afraid of losing properties to their clients they need to be a little overprotective, but come on! In the cold? I was wrapped up like a Michelin Man and I was not pulling off my gloves outdoors- not for one moment. So he shows me the place. Nice building- it had the old 'board of education' brass doorknobs, marble floors, and although it's geometrically what I'm looking for, the soft touches rule it out- the crappy windows, the closet moist with cat waste (why would someone ruin a perfectly good closet like that) and the neighbors were noisy. Otherwise it was perfect. So I told Verbal 'no thanks' and had to fill out the paperwork anyway - just in case I was lying about not wanting the place so I could get it without his fee - and split.
have I mentioned that I hate real estate brokers?
My experience with no-fee brokers has been all right so I've been trying to see those appointments exclusively, but that involves a lot of legwork, since there are no (as in absolute zero aintno) good brokers who only deal with no-fee properties. If their properties don't stink, they do. So what ends up happening is you get stuck dealing with brokers and their fees.
argh.
So I'm at gnu's place and I talk to some dude who's like,
why don't you walk a mile from where you are and I'll pick you up on the street in my car?
I ask why he can't just drive and pick us up, and he says no, he's too busy to drive 2 miles, it would really be much better if we met him on the street. So we walk the mile. Probably shouldn't have but I'm glad we did. We get into his car and he hands me a clipboard- so I say, Hey- nice office! and he doesn't get it. but then I see he's distracting me from the horrible neighborhood with paperwork.
And this guy is like a retarded Joe Pesci. He's got the overly obnoxious "italian" affectation, the white caddy, the ugly suit, open shirt, gold chain, the hair- and he talks like Pesci too- except.. well... do your best Joe Pesci impersonation, but purposely leave your tounge sticking out of your mouth.. that's the best description I could come up with, because when I do that, it sounds just like him. If for some reason you can't do it, ask me to do the retarded Joe Pesci impression. I don't think I'll ever tire of it.
I ask him what he considers this neighborhood, and he says swarthily that it doesn't matter what he considers it, what matters is what I consider it.
I said I just wanted his perspective, but in retrospect I consider it Deadman's Slope- half a block down a very steep hill from a cemetery and around the corner from a highway. lots of trash, abandoned buildings, no major development (or redevelopment) anywhere nearby. The building is pretty run down on the outside, the metal steps are rusted through- we go down a hall, turn right and left, and then we are facing a staircase that is probably at a 60 degree angle. very very steep, and narrow, too- I don't know how they got the stove up through that hallway.
The apartment itself is not terrible- but here's what I noticed immediately-
no bathroom sink, standing shower stall, the toilet in its own little hallway- the kitchen floor was made of overlaid 4x8' sheets of masonite.. like someone just haphazardly dropped them there, a giant deck of playing cards.
Don't get me wrong- the apartment was quite large, about 450 square feet, windows on the front and the back of the building, nice fixtures, two outlets in every room, and besides the kitchen and bathroom, some really nice wood floors, but the neighborhood, and the building itself were what is sometimes confused for Shynola.
It seems I finally have some criteria to work with, which is good-
1. apartment interior ok?
2. building ok?
3. neighborhood ok?
Of course these can be subdivided further as to what constitutes "ok", but at this point I'm willing to get 2 out of 3 here, folks.
suggestions noted and appreciated.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
you could blog with this
or you could blog with that.
Should I give up my blogger.com blog? fire away. if you're shy just send me an email.
Should I give up my blogger.com blog? fire away. if you're shy just send me an email.
Sunday, January 02, 2005
blogger... I've been cheating on you
I started a myspace account, for the women, their photos, the music, the networking thing, the women, and the instant gratification therewith. Is that a word? I can't say it's better than blogger. It's... different. Anyway, I'm writing in both for awhile... and I'm sure that nobody reads either.
A downside! I'd feel strange not revealing things I want to write about... and yet... I feel weird doing it. I was just thinking that if I have a journal and I write in it (which I do, and until a few months ago, I did, then nobody will read it, because nobody can. Now a blog... blog's got distribution... blog's got audience... but the myspace blog.. that connects ME to my writing. Blogger is impersonal.. there are only a few ppl who know I'm doing this, and they never comment- online or off. So anyone else who's seen this probably doesn't know me. But on myspace, they do.. that's why they're reading it in the first place!
It must be a vanity thing. I must want those people I know to read what I write. if I really wanted to be nobody, nowhere.. that is to say if I wanted private thoughts to stay private I'd be writing in a book. a nice, black leather-bound book with an elastic strap to keep it closed. A moleskine with a pocket in the back; and I'd do all my writing with a nice black gel pen. and I'd put all my important thoughts in there.
Hey, I have one of those!
Go, Vanity!
A downside! I'd feel strange not revealing things I want to write about... and yet... I feel weird doing it. I was just thinking that if I have a journal and I write in it (which I do, and until a few months ago, I did, then nobody will read it, because nobody can. Now a blog... blog's got distribution... blog's got audience... but the myspace blog.. that connects ME to my writing. Blogger is impersonal.. there are only a few ppl who know I'm doing this, and they never comment- online or off. So anyone else who's seen this probably doesn't know me. But on myspace, they do.. that's why they're reading it in the first place!
It must be a vanity thing. I must want those people I know to read what I write. if I really wanted to be nobody, nowhere.. that is to say if I wanted private thoughts to stay private I'd be writing in a book. a nice, black leather-bound book with an elastic strap to keep it closed. A moleskine with a pocket in the back; and I'd do all my writing with a nice black gel pen. and I'd put all my important thoughts in there.
Hey, I have one of those!
Go, Vanity!
falling
The fact remains that you are all mad and the whole world is mad.. what were you thinking? I try to listen to you people and hear the ideas behind your words, but your words fight each other until meaning has utterly vanished. I try to read books to know the ideas but the words dance across the page and I don't know where I am or what I was thinking about... what was I thinking? I try to read your blogs and your hobbies and your dreams and the void wells up, a drunken heat. I wasn't thinking, I was trying to absorb, to be absorbed.. to get inside the words and be a part of an idea-- within the ideas-- and I've lost my footing.. I can't feel the ground... I can't see.. I can't feel....
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