Tuesday, December 05, 2006

how to eat disgusting things

I don't like the taste of certain things, but in order to appreciate their value nutritionally or medically speaking in a non-vicarious sense, I needed to find a way to, well.. eat them.

Let's take cod liver oil(CLO), or buckley's cough syrup as examples. Neither are sweetened, and though I could probably mix em with a pint of ice cream, it would take a lot longer to ingest (especially if one were to try this on a semiregular basis).

Now, don't go and drink cough syrup every day... though in high school I knew a few people who did, and they're perfectly well-adjusted members of their AA groups by now.. So let's forget the buckley's for a moment and focus on cod liver oil(CLO).

The rule used to be an inverse relationship between a healthy benefit and taste. Cake= bad for you=tastes good. I don't need to expound on why CLO is good for you, right? Vitamins, minerals, and that yummy fishy flavor. .

As we all know the human tongue has special cells for tasting different types of food, based positionally. The part that tastes really bad stuff is in the back, which probably has something to do with gagging, which we're trying to avoid. Okay, enough with the intro. Here's how to get around bad tasting food. Put the food just past the tip of your tongue, and push that against the roof of your mouth. This will give that CLO a little flip, right down your gullet, and past the back part of your tongue. It takes a little practice, so try it with olives or jellybeans or bits of mushroom or something before you step up to CLO. And there's no reason you can't wash down the extra with a little cold water, or even a bit of bread to sop up the extra oil.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Z!

is it just me, or is the 'snooze' alarm much louder and more annoying than the standard one?

Friday, November 24, 2006

the police

every flip you flop
every slip you slop
every tip you top
every blip you blop

every hocus you pocus
every shim you sham
every wing you wang
every ping you pong
I'll be mumblin

Oh say can you see?
you'll be long to be
I'm a poo hard eight
furrainy greppüblaite.

every sha you zam
every razz ma tazz
every drip you drab
every zig you zag
I'll be mumblin

Friday, August 18, 2006

online dating

I am in love with other peoples' pets and children, am an open book, and have always followed my passions. I own half of New York City and several small islands in the Pacific, and the only reason I'm searching online is I'm too busy either working in my office, or raising the dead, or achieving enlightenment in the yoga-art-dance-music class I teach as a part of my self-imposed community service, which I rightly deserve for being so successful and humble. I never take myself seriously but am always serious, except when I'm being funny, which is always. My comedy causes prevents highway traffic and solves hunger. The sight of me causes peace among people, and positive creativity within them. The sound of my voice lulls babies to sleep, causes dogs to lay on their sides, and calms the ocean. Really, I'm just your average everyday ordinary garden-variety mundane guy. I am twenty-eight years old and eleven feet tall.

I'm here looking for you; You like to be told what to do but not how to do it, and then given a credit card. You need the best of everything the world offers. You love fine dining and travel, servants, equity, family, piety, and power of attorney. You never needs anything but always get what you want, as your grasp never exceeds your reach. I will know you when I see you.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

rain is good, busybee

Got a bunch going on right now... seemed like a good time to sit down and redecorate the b'log. Procrastinating is such a natural tendency for me. I tell myself 'before I get wrapped up some huge thing, I'll do a lot of little things first to clear my mind'. Unfortunately the unwritten list of little things to do never quite ends. Maybe I should make it a written list instead of an unwritten one, which will give me the false justification that I've nothing else to do... I could attempt to be that organized.. nnnaaaahhhh.

burritos for lunch, everyone!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

THE MEANING OF LIFE

it is your responsibility to be happy.

that's it. that's why we're here. to satisfy ourselves. you want a bigger truth? ain't no. you want something more personal and specific? too bad. everybody's different. you knew that.

so, run along. be happy. go do something you love.

a little advice

if you're moving, even if it's only a block away- rent a car.
believe me. there's nobody who likes hauling their crap around more than me, but that stuff gets heavy about halfway down he block. and 30 trips means 30 blocks twice, or 60 blocks- 3 miles, carrying heavy stuff. get the truck. get it all out, take lots of little breaks. you deserve it.

okay, so I've moved. great new apartment! better layout, SOAKED in sunlight, I can see the bridge!

soo... where the hell am I going to put all this junk? ah yes, building shelves and closetspace. life's just one adventure after another, kids!

by the way, I've discovered the meaning of life.