online dating

I am in love with other peoples' pets and children, am an open book, and have always followed my passions. I own half of New York City and several small islands in the Pacific, and the only reason I'm searching online is I'm too busy either working in my office, or raising the dead, or achieving enlightenment in the yoga-art-dance-music class I teach as a part of my self-imposed community service, which I rightly deserve for being so successful and humble. I never take myself seriously but am always serious, except when I'm being funny, which is always. My comedy causes prevents highway traffic and solves hunger. The sight of me causes peace among people, and positive creativity within them. The sound of my voice lulls babies to sleep, causes dogs to lay on their sides, and calms the ocean. Really, I'm just your average everyday ordinary garden-variety mundane guy. I am twenty-eight years old and eleven feet tall.

I'm here looking for you; You like to be told what to do but not how to do it, and then given a credit card. You need the best of everything the world offers. You love fine dining and travel, servants, equity, family, piety, and power of attorney. You never needs anything but always get what you want, as your grasp never exceeds your reach. I will know you when I see you.